While October is well known for fall leaves, pumpkin patches and breast cancer awareness, this month is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Congress declared the month of October to be Domestic Violence Awareness Month in 1989. Why should we dedicate a month to focus on the issue of domestic violence? Because battering is the single major cause of injury to women; more frequent than auto accidents, muggings and rapes combined. Also, one in 7 men have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
But is it a business issue? YES. Because of the vast prevalence of domestic violence, the math doesn’t lie: if you employ people, there is no question your very own workforce is affected[1]:
- The Department of Labor reports that victims of domestic violence lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the U.S. – the equivalent of over 32,000 full-time jobs — resulting in a $1.8 billion loss in productivity for employers.
- 96% of employed domestic violence victims experience problems at work because of the abuse.
- A 2005 survey found that 64% of respondents who identified themselves as victims of domestic violence indicated that their ability to work was affected by the violence. 57% of domestic violence victims said they were distracted; almost half (45%) feared being discovered, and 2 in 5 were afraid of an unexpected visit by their intimate partner (either by phone or in person).
As employers we can no longer dismiss this issue as a “family matter” or “issues best left to law enforcement.” The pervasiveness and severity of domestic violence impacting the workplace demands the attention of employers, managers, human resources and security staff.
What Is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is all about the power and control over another person[2]. What may start out as something that was first believed to be harmless (e.g., wanting the victim to spend all their time only with them because they “love them so much”) escalates into extreme control and abuse (e.g., threatening to kill a pet or hurt the victim if they speak to family, friends, etc.). While many still think of domestic violence as physical abuse, people who choose to use violence exert all sorts of tactics to instill fear, including emotional and verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, stalking, and coercive control. Lastly, it’s important to know that there is no “typical victim.” Victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life, varying age groups, all backgrounds, all communities, all education levels, all economic levels, all cultures, all ethnicities, all religions, all abilities, all sexual orientations, and all lifestyles.
What Businesses Can (and Should) Do
For starters, know the signs to look for. Keep an eye out for things like:
- Regular excuses for injuries
- Frequently arriving late and leaving early
- Reduced quality and quantity of work
- An inability to concentrate or make decisions
- Worry about leaving children at home
- Change in behavior or health, such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues
- Constantly checking in with their partner or receiving frequent calls or texts from the partner
- Wearing clothes that don’t fit the season, like long sleeves in summer to cover bruises
Secondly, consider putting a formal policy in place about domestic violence (70% of US workplaces don’t have a formal program or policy to address workplace violence). Policies should highlight the employer’s acknowledgement that domestic violence happens and may impact the workplace, and that as an employer you will do what you can to accommodate those experiencing it (without the threat of the victim losing their job). This begins with creating a work culture where employees feel comfortable talking about and disclosing domestic violence:
- Share messages of domestic violence prevention through email
- Invite a survivor services agency to provide a company-wide training on the dynamics of domestic violence and how it affects the workplace
- Place resources in spaces where it’s safe for survivors to pick them up, such as restrooms or breakrooms
- Ensure privacy: Before employees can feel comfortable raising concerns about domestic violence, they need to know privacy will be protected. Well-meaning or even inadvertent disclosures of a survivor’s experiences with domestic violence can prove dangerous or even fatal.
Understand that disclosing abuse is a tremendous act of bravery for survivors. They may fear not being believed, being blamed for abuse, or being fired. If an employee discloses they are experiencing domestic violence, the most helpful way to respond is to start by expressing you believe them. “I believe you. Thank you for telling me, I know that must have been difficult.”
What to do if you suspect a DV situation
If you suspect that an employee is experiencing intimate partner violence, gently approach the employee and ask some questions:
- “I’ve noticed that you have been coming to work with bruises and I am concerned for your well-being, who is hurting you?” This question will often diffuse the excuse making so often used by victims of violence.
- “Do you need help getting a protective order?” Many victims of abuse don’t know how to begin the process of getting a protective order, or shy away from letting their employer know that they have one.
- “I need you to be honest with me so that I can protect not only you, but your coworkers as well, can you please share with me what measures we should take to protect you?”
The role of the employer is not to deal with the abuse itself, to offer advice, to pry, or to tell the employee what they should do (e.g. leave the relationship, file for a protective order, etc.). The role of the employer is to partner with the survivor to create safety for them as well as other employees. Survivors are the experts on their own experiences and know best what they need to be safe, but they may need your help to do so. Most importantly, support of an employee experiencing abuse should not be dependent on the level of disclosure an employee provides, or whether they remain in or return to the relationship with the abusive partner. Leaving an abuser often takes many tries.
Please take time this month to consider how the scourge of domestic violence affects your workplace and your customers and what you can do about helping those in dangerous situations. Employers can make a real difference if they are proactive, instead of waiting for something bad to happen. You can find model policies in various places including Workplaces Respond and Cornell University.
[1] https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/
[2] https://www.thehotline.org/resources/dynamics-of-abuse/